nihongo no mese-ji (a message in "Japanese")

I have just amused myself by composing what is for me a lengthy letter in "Japanese." For those of you with neither knowledge of nor interest in the Japanese language, my apologies--you need read no further. For those of you with anything beyond a dabbler's interest in the same, you have my apologies also, for I have murdered a perfectly good, if sometimes vague, language. My reason for the letter is stated (poorly) in the letter itself. Basically, I was just sitting and reminiscing about my time in Japan and my friends who are still there, and I thought I should like to "hear" the language, if only from my own gaijin lips.

Boku wa nihongo de kono mese-ji wo tsukuritai (da to omoimasu). Naze nara, nihongo wo wasurenai tame ni, renshu shitai desu. Saikin boku ga nihongo wo wasureteiru you ni kangaete hajimata. Okurahoma-shuu ni iru nihonjin ga sukunai kara. Dakara renshu shita hou ga ii you ni kimemashita. Mochiron honmono no nihongo janai dakedo. Kono nihongo wa gaikokujin no nihongo. Romaji de kaite America no kangaekata atte machigai ippakute nihongo desu ne. Ima yondeiru nihonjin ireba, gomen nasai! demo shoganai. Boku ga amerikajin desu no de, amerikajin no nihongo dake dekimasu. Issho ken mae gambatte mo, kono nihongo dake kakemasu. zannen desu ne. Nihongo muri! (joudan)

Tokubetsu na mese-ji ga aru kedo. Boku no nihon ni iru amerikajin ka osturariajin ka europajin tomodachi to boku no nihon ni sundeita koto aru tomodachi e. Saisho ni shitsumon aru: Kono mese-ji wakaru? Nihongo benkyo shiteimasu ka? gambatte kudasai. Soshite nihon ni sundeiru seikatsu tanoshinde kudasai. Saigo ni, Kami-sama no koto wo issho ken mae gambatte kudasai. Kami-sama kara moratta mokuteki wasurenaide kudasai. Ijou desu. Sumimasen. Otsukare sama deshita. Ojama sashimashita. Yoroshiku onegaiitashimashita. Osewa ni narimashita. Moshi-moshi, Migawa-chuu de gozaimasu...